Road Blocks

On the path to my revolution I hit a little road block that caused me to fall off the wagon so to speak and get get away from my routine I had set up for myself.  All within a 3 to 4 week span my Grandma got sick and then passed away.  Since I tend to be an emotional eater I ate some things that had been moved to my eat very sparingly list.  My first Weight Watcher meeting back after my grandma's funeral I weighed in and was really mad at myself because I had gained some weight back.  I seriously wanted to cry but as fate would have it the meeting that night was all about the way we talk to ourselves and negative self talk.  The leader that night asked us if we would talk to any of our friends and family the way we talk to ourselves.  I found that very interesting because I really am hard on myself.  Well I decided that I could either beat myself up or get back on my wagon and work really hard.  I told myself that I was starting fresh day one and I was not going to look back.  This last Tuesday when I weighed in I had a really good week.

I learned a valuable lesson that not only had to do with weight loss but life in general.  We all make mistakes and I certainly have made more then my fair share but if I really want to change my life around for the better I can't look back.  I need to move forward and just try and be the best person I can possibly be.  I hope I have learned to be a kinder and less judgemental person.  My Grandma was definately a good role model.  She was kind and gentle and cared about everyone that she came in contact with.  She always did everything she could to make everyone around her happy.  I miss her so much but I know that she is okay.  I love you Grandma!!  Thanks for being such a good teacher.

50 by 50

This is the year I have been dreading for the last couple years. This is the year that I turn the big 5-0!! I have not been looking forward to this at all but I am trying to look at it in a whole different light. A month ago I decided that I wanted to set a goal to lose 50 pounds by the time I turn 50. As of now I have only lost 14 and I have a little less then 7 months to get there. It might seem like too high of a goal but I think it can be done. It would help if I didn't keep running into potential road blocks. Last weekend I went out of town and spent the weekend with friends. The first night I went to dinner with a friend to Olive Garden. The next morning I went with friends to IHOP for breakfast and then that evening I went to a birthday party. Both the times I went out to eat I chose WW friendly items from the menu. At the birthday party I watched portions. I was so afraid when I went to WW that I was going to have gained but I lost 1.2 pounds which really is nothing but I was happy.

Now onto the next couple of days. It is my Dad's birthday so my Mom decided to invite all the family out and have a big party. For lunch she decided to have dutch oven ribs and potatoes. For Sunday dinner she picked lasagna. I think she is trying to kill me off. LOL I decided that for lunch I was going to do my own thing and bring my own meat. I am having grilled chicken instead of ribs and then I will just have a bunch of veggies or something. For dinner on Sunday I had to make a pan of lasagna so I researched on WW and found a recipe to slim down the lasagna so hopefully it will taste okay and I will just have a small piece. Also there will be desserts at this party so I made an angel food cake and I am frosting it with cool whip with heath bars crunched up in it. I figured one slice is about 7 pts. Not too bad considering. I hope all this effort will pay off on the scales on Tuesday.

Me and Melanie created a little bulletin type thing that I put on my fridge and the pantry door to help me with my efforts. On this poster it has pics of my grandkids and then it has other pics of things I want to do once I lose some weight. It is really helping me to stay motivated when I see the things I am working for everytime I open the fridge or pantry.

I will let you all know how the weekend goes after Tuesday.

Lessons Learned

I learned a couple of lessons this week. The first thing I learned is just because something seems to be a more healthy option, it doesn't mean it is Weight Watcher friendly. I went to Roy last weekend to a gymnastics competition and we stopped at IHOP for lunch before we came home. I chose to have what they called a Simple and Fit Omelette, which was an omelette with turkey bacon and swiss cheese made with egg substitute. I was so sick of eating fruits and vegetables that day so I decided to have Harvest Grain and Nut Pancakes with sugar free syrup to eat with my omelette. As it turned out my lunch came to approximately 32 points. Not so great an option and since I didn't want to go over my daily points I ended up skipping dinner. I am going to have to get a data package on my phone so I can look these things up ahead of time.

The second thing I learned is that things are not always going to turn out like I expect them to but I cannot be so hard on myself. This last week and for the two previous weeks I have been a little psycho about making sure I stay within my daily points and not eating my weekly points or activity points at all. The first two weeks that worked perfectly for me but this week I ended up gaining 1.2 pounds. The whole day before I went and weighed in I was pretty much making myself have a panic attack. I was so afraid of any gain what-so-ever that I was making myself sick. I talked to one of the leaders at the meeting and she told me that I was probably depriving myself and that my points are there for me to use. My leaders suggested that I make sure and eat my daily points and either my activity points or my weekly points. Both of the people that I went to the meeting with had allowed themselves to have a treat if they wanted and they both lost. When I first got to the meeting I was really upset at myself but before I left to come home I decided I needed to quit being so hard on myself and realize that there will be ups and downs but that doesn't mean I give up.

Thanks Melanie and Ronda for making me laugh and for getting me excited about the week to come.

My First Big Trial

Today started out being a really good day and then about 11:00 a.m. we had a lady from the Senior Citizens Center down the hall come around with a pan of the most delicious looking fresh cinnamon rolls. I LOVE cinnamon rolls!! I started to calculate in my head how many Weight Watcher points one of those could possibly be. I was trying so hard to tell myself that I didn't need one but that choice became especially difficult when both the people in my office decided to buy one. It was at this point that I had to call for reinforcements. First I called my WW buddy Ronda and practically screamed at her that I needed an intervention as soon as she answered the phone. She talked to me for a second and gave me a quick pep talk which helped a little. Second I saw Megan was online so I instant messaged her what was happening and she told me to STAY STRONG and she told me to imagine the people in my office getting heavier while I was getting skinny. This made me laugh and took away the stress of the moment.

Now for anyone who might be reading this you might be wondering what the big deal is. It shouldn't be hard to tell yourself not to have a treat like this but for me having sweet rolls, cookies, cake etc around me is like having alcohol around an alcoholic. I know I can't deprive myself of ever having a treat ever again but for me I need to try and make better choices and limit the amount of sweets I do have.

Well I was able to make it through my moment and I did not buy a cinnamon roll. I also did not have a brownie that was on the counter in the Clerk's Office when I went to talk to a couple of people in that office. For a moment today I was wondering who was out to sabotage me but I must say that the satisfaction I felt for not caving in made me feel so good. So a big BRAVO to me today now hopefully it will pay off when I hit the scales again on Tuesday.

My Beginning

A year ago I started what I am going to call a revolution of sorts and decided to make some changes in my life. The first thing I decided to work on was my spirituality and in doing that it meant that I had to let go of some ghosts in my past and to quit punishing myself for all the things I cannot change. I have to say that at first it was a huge struggle but as of today I feel like I am more at peace with myself then I have ever been. I am really happy and I have found the last few months that I have developed friendships with the best women who in the past I might have felt like I could never measure up to. I also feel like I have become a better Mother and Grandmother.

Aproximately 2 1/2 weeks ago I moved on to working on getting healthy. With my good friend Ronda I joined Weight Watchers. To tell you the truth, that first day I had a million excuses in my head on the reasons why I could not go. I was hoping my friend would call me and tell me she could not go. Instead my very enthusiastic friend called me and told me how excited she was and that she had bought us water cups that we could take with us to each meeting. There started our journey. The first night we decided that we were going to go to the convenience store and buy ourselves our final big splurge. After walking thru the store and checking out every sweet thing in there and laughing our heads off I decided to chose a Ding Dong (which is something I hardly ever eat) and my friend chose some pastry filled with cream cheese. I told the cashier that if she ever saw us in there buying sweets by ourselves she was to call the other person and let them know so we could have an intervention. :) We then decided to drag main (picture two old women driving around eating their very fattening dessert). Ronda told me she had in the past had an addiction to Honey Buns so somewhere along the way we came up with the nicknames of Hunny Buns for Ronda and Ding Dong for me. It has since been updated to Bunny Buns and Bing Bong.

A week later I went to my first weigh in feeling a lot nervous. When I stood on the scales and it said I had lost 9.4 lbs all I could do was stand there. The lady checking the scales said I could get off the scales but I was still in shock for a minute. I finally realized I could be excited and everyone started giving me high fives. It was a very good moment for me.

The next week when I went to weigh in I was REALLY nervous. I knew I had been working hard but still felt like the first week was some sort of fluke and this time I was going to see a gain. I was stunned when they said I had lost another 5 lbs. Again I was very excited but I also have become a little worried because I have set a high bar for myself and yet I know I can't keep losing weight at the same rate. I hope that I can but I realize at some point my weight loss could taper off and I might not see those big losses each week. That doesn't mean I am going to quit working so hard. I really want to succeed at this!!

So before I end my first shot at this whole blogging thing I just want to say Thank You to my friends and family for your support in my journey. I will keep you posted on my progress!!